H.I.M

Welcome November! One more month to go till the end of 2015..

In the year of 2015, felt more like being in a child roller coaster. Everything seemed manageable. However it was really hard to make decision. Especially when you were trying to make everything seemed right but you were still quite afraid if it turned out wrong.

The first few months were about coping with school and mostly the previous relationship i had with my first ex. Then the mid year came; i had fallen in love with my bestfriend - he was a classmate when we were in high school. Schoolmate when we turned 20 in 2014. I never knew that i could fall in love with him all over again. It wasn't about me being in a rebound state. I was quite sure of what i felt towards my ex but i had no bad intentions towards him. He was a good guy. Somehow it didn't turn out well for the both of us.

14 March 2014

Somehow i had my bestfriend being around with me for quite a long time. Though at times he wasn't really there when i needed him. After all he was attached with someone else when my life was really devastated but i didn't blame him. When i was facing trouble, it was something i had to go through on my own - to stay strong because fairy tales do not exist. I ended up telling myself that the fairy tale life wasn't for me.

3 December 2014

Honestly i did not know what love was. I didn't know how it was supposed to be felt because that kind of love i had for someone was long ago. Way before i had thoughts for my bestftriend. I fell in love with an older guy - of two years different but because of complication, i was not destined to be with him anyways.

I might say that i had the habit of bragging about my past because my past was what brought and it made me to be this way now. I thought to be more stronger and dominant however i still feel weak. I was emotionally weak. I needed someone whom i could trust wholeheartedly. Someone who would never give up on me. So there he was! - someone whom i had seen him as just a shadow trying to hover on me.

02 August 2015

2nd November 2015 - 3rd Monthsary..

In a tough relationship, what i learnt the most was patience. Honesty and trust fell after that. We could have known each other for more than 8 years now but there were still many things we were not aware of. I believed i had been the toughest and roughest girl he had ever had to watch over his words and body language.

I must have had been a difficult one for him too. So how could i not put my trust on him especially when he's a guy. I've met and dated few guys out there. Some cheated me and i got to know that they were attached with somebody else. Long ago i had thought about suicidal, not because of this but because i lost so many friends, i got cheated on and i was on a verge of suicidal (Solitary Aptitude: Repost 18/06/2014 : Death: Life changing - After the accident, i'm glad that i'm still breathing. Being able to make new friends and knowing the ones who has b...)

I was at my worst but i still managed it.

20 July 2013

I knew that someone who's called my boyfriend now, he had been a friend whom i knew for quite a long time. From the beginning. When it all started in high school. He had been waiting for me but i had always friend zoned him because i was afraid that the friendship i cherished might turned out sour. So i just hold on to that friendship i had with him. I had seen his exes and watched him go through the ups and downs of relationship.

I had never seen someone so patient but yet could seem so reprimanded in his own way. Bare this in
mind - "he's a simple guy" - to the extent no, he's not so simple to be handled and understand.

I had my disagreements but encouraging him would do less hurt. I mean if i truly cared for him, i would always nag, persuade and demand because i wanted the right thing for him.

I don't know of ways that i could thank him for being there for the past.

19 September 2015

But it's great to have someone like him whom i can joke around - Be sarcastically annoyed with, "punching" and "pushing" each other but one thing i'm looking forward to as part of my 20's bucket list - To travel across the globe with him!

 Well! Cheers to many more months and years to come. Thank you so much for everything. Happy 3rd Monthsary - of which i don't really take monthsary into account but for him, OKAY CAN!

Stay strong and we can make it till the end..

In sha allah!