Bare in Mind

Actually i don't quite have a topic to start on but i'm sure i'll do and definitely i'll have. Just need something that would quite or might trigger my mind.

I think i have been keeping a lot of secrets that i tend to keep it buried in me that would even cause me much hurt. The truths hurt but sometimes it has to be kept. To ensure that both parties do not reprimand each other. So not to start a spark in a relationship. Mom had always given me her advise and i had always kept that in mind.

So i told Kanda that i missed Saiful very much but to be honest i could see those eyes looking back at me. Very much of jealousy but at times i can't lie. I just want to tell the truth and the the truth that he gets. I don't want any such secrecy between the both of us and we both know that we deserve having trust and faith with each other. After all we have to learn how to understand with one another.

I don't know if my actions would cause Kanda pain slash jealousy but right now i do miss Saiful because i finally come to term that Saiful has that brotherly figure in him. He cared and took sorry plight for me. Though he once might have hurt me and caused me so much pain and embarrassment but Kanda had always remind me to keep in mind to forgive and to forget thus so i did.

I might not know Saiful's side of the feelings but it would be great if we could keep our current distance as far as we could but great distance means great opportunities of missing one another. I never expected Saiful to post a status in his facebook.

"Ingatku di dalam doamu" - i found out about this an hour later after we ended our conversation. it could mean differently but it was so 'relate-able'.

I found myself lost. I needed someone to be there for me to grab hold of me before i start imagining wildly. My thoughts for Kanda; the first. He's still my saviour. Well almost..

Thank god we had a small meeting at one of the fast-food restaurant. We had something to talk and that we did. You want to know something?

The most memorable and yet fun and interesting about being with each other was to share stories and tell one another about our emotions and experiences. Let it be from the past or for the future, i'm glad we did meet up. Even though he got back from Eunos and headed to Bukit Batok to meet me, i'm thankful he's there for me. Alhamdullilah!