Thursday, February 23, 2017


Dear Kanda,

You were the first few whom had tried to court me but you were the only one whom had not given up!

I vividly remembered the first day of school and we had to play the "ice breaking game" - sort of like an introduction of ourselves to everyone. You were shy when it came to your turn. I didn't pay much attention to you because we all knew who was the eye candy in the class. I described you as the nerd (pretty naive and vain of me to call you a geek while i was one too) - frankly speaking we were ugly ducklings!

We grew up trying to stay in contact with one another. You wondered why i considered you to be part of my circle - that of which i'm not sure because i had always felt that i'm not allowed to leave you behind. It was like i couldn't afford to lose you!

I couldn't understand then but i now clearly understood why الله had set for me this path. I believed that he wanted me to believe the true meaning of Destiny. That of which i reminisced the day it was dated back in 2006 that i won the singing competition with a song called Destiny by Misha Omar (originally to sang Disney songs but CD broke into half).

To many times i had tried pushing you away so you could stop having hopes on me, but that didn't even bother you at all. Okay. Maybe you did. You'd say Ouch..

I watched you becoming the man i know you right now.

I saw you struggled through every relationships you had. Tough breakdowns and heartaches left marks on you but that didn't make you weak.

Dated back in 2015, we would use to lepak and even stayed up late nights going out for night-cycling or simply sharing stories before you started booking-in. The night after we met with Radin and Ader, you sent me home. Correct me if i'm wrong but i remembered the very first time i laid my head on your shoulder because i was exhausted from school activities during the day. I didn't think much about the actions or hopes that i was giving you. After all at that point, i regarded you as a best friend. Nothing more..

Ever since then we were constantly meeting up and going out. We didn't really expected it to be dates. You told me once that with your exes, you had never even gone on a date before it got really serious. It was like a suicidal attempt on those relationships you had. I found it to be hilarious but like they said - boys and girls do crazy things when they are "together".

So we got together on the 2nd August 2015 (#twoaug). A day after the last show of our musical that happened on the 1st August 2015.

The (Musical) you had attended twice however i was saddened by the fact that i couldn't attend your POP. All of which i am deeply thankful that you had never failed to be there for me. Just like the days when you fetched me from work or school or so - though you had booked out or booking-in a little bit later. You'd find excuses just to meet me.

I always wondered why you had never gotten so sick of me even no matter how numerous times i had been selfish but yet you could be so patient with me. And for that, you had stole my heart. Your patience was full of smiles. You had never once felt so frustrated neither scolded me furiously. It didn't matter if i was in the wrong but you had the tendency to take the blame for me even when i told you not to. If that was your nature, الله must have had wanted my partner to be the water to always cool me down.

I know myself well too enough and i am a hot headed and stubborn girl who doesn't like to kid around. I'm overly-confident and that i never give up!

Your presence what made me had to lower down my self-esteem and be neutral. You showed me the true meaning of love. Every courtship i went through yet my feelings were always being cheated with bogus promises but الله gave you to me and everything i became to live up to, changed.

إن شاء الله (In Sha allah) if our jodoh would last, i can't wait to tell this to our children.

Since 2007 and up till now, we have grown up so much. From becoming a young adult to an adult and now planning for our future, إن شاء الله for everything. 

You've been part of my wonderful journey so far. From the day we started high school together, till your breakups, becoming schoolmates in ITE, BMT to POP to STARLIGHT to MILESTONE PARADE and ORD. I am looking forward to what will await for you after March 3rd.

This is when reality and responsibility become part of your life. It's not a burden but a requirement. I will forever be your supportive person, i'll be the 3rd lady to constantly nag at you. I'll be someone you need but someone whom you shouldn't let go off because i love you.

Though at times it scares me a lot thinking about losing you, i prayed too much that i felt like it's beyond my capability anymore. I laid my hopes and trust on الله.

Your phase is coming and mine has yet to come in 2 years time. After that to execute our plan accurately, إن شاء الله.

بسم الله ص رحماني ص الرحيم

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